so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
