my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
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Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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