I'm lost and stupid without you.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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