youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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