I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
