My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
