come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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