Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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