Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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