Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize