she woke up with a sticky ear
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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