Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think my tv is drunk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
