I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.