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I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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