Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't believe you blew on her face.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.

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  (662): I can't believe you blew on her face. (1-662): I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes. http://tfl.nu/gk09
  Replies (78) Good night (2502) Bad night (1659)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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  (248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer. http://tfl.nu/nnju
  Replies (59) Good night (1245) Bad night (6386)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...

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  (320): Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs... http://tfl.nu/sf3t
  Replies (56) Good night (1412) Bad night (4157)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?

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  (214): How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again? http://tfl.nu/qrnl
  Replies (19) Good night (5497) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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  (309): Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete http://tfl.nu/n4gc
  Replies (36) Good night (6154) Bad night (1125)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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  (937): after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head. http://tfl.nu/3prw
  Replies (45) Good night (10478) Bad night (4224)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween

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  (405): Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween http://tfl.nu/jypy
  Replies (20) Good night (1386) Bad night (3069)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.

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  (954): FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today. http://tfl.nu/1con
  Replies (13) Good night (3561) Bad night (1112)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.

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  (770): Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out. http://tfl.nu/a31o
  Replies (12) Good night (5013) Bad night (832)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Everything smells like blood and olive oil.

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  (416): Everything smells like blood and olive oil. http://tfl.nu/qieq
  Replies (9) Good night (393) Bad night (1039)
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  (510): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.

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  (510): I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English. http://tfl.nu/sei7
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (429)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.

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  (503): Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush. http://tfl.nu/eadi
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester

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  (309): yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester http://tfl.nu/2w28
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)

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  (917): Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.) http://tfl.nu/7rgs
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking

  (815): View more from Illinois

  the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ

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  (507): Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking (815): the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ http://tfl.nu/al4m
  Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (299)

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