but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.