Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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