please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
