and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
