Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How's work?
Spinning.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize