girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
