i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
