You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
