Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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