i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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