i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
