just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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