You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
