I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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