if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize