Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize