i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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