I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
