I wish I could teleport
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize