You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
