I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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