so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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