I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
