you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
