and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
