we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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