dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize