there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
