Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
