tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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