There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
