I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
