you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
