Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
