And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
