And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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