im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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