Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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