Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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