So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
