I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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