i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
