I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
