She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
