sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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