So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
