we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
