I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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